you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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