So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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