Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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