i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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