Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
