you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
time to smoke my breakfast
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
