Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Found the puke drawer
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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