My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i love accidental penises.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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