why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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