tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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