I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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