can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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