Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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