I love black thongs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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