he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.