Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.

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  (973): i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/umpc
  Replies (15) Good night (891) Bad night (2576)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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  (773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal http://tfl.nu/usjw
  Replies (29) Good night (22411) Bad night (1124)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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  (571): i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms. http://tfl.nu/yba6
  Replies (21) Good night (6232) Bad night (993)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

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  (336): Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone? http://tfl.nu/bgt3
  Replies (22) Good night (8396) Bad night (863)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season

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  (517): the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season http://tfl.nu/k0xy
  Replies (55) Good night (5134) Bad night (970)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

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  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5892) Bad night (1698)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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  (410): she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night. http://tfl.nu/m7fi
  Replies (5) Good night (2618) Bad night (1150)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night

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  (919): So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night http://tfl.nu/rd80
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (1747)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker

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  (506): The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/zneu
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (883)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.

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  (205): So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well. http://tfl.nu/tmpt
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (710)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...

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  (845): I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex... http://tfl.nu/82t9
  Replies (3) Good night (1439) Bad night (446)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you

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  (740): No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you http://tfl.nu/56sg
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (414)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

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  (618): I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/aen5
  Replies (4) Good night (1618) Bad night (375)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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  (503): In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win. http://tfl.nu/mc4e
  Replies (11) Good night (773) Bad night (470)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world

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  (716): she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world http://tfl.nu/4gui
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (376)

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