Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.

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  (319): How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules. http://tfl.nu/ttz2
  Replies (26) Good night (8204) Bad night (1540)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.

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  (506): No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better. http://tfl.nu/gi84
  Replies (5) Good night (2673) Bad night (1022)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  She said she wanted to have closure sex.

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  (848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj
  Replies (9) Good night (3925) Bad night (1243)
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  (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

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  (530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt
  Replies (16) Good night (2476) Bad night (1048)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog

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  (918): I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog http://tfl.nu/wm03
  Replies (5) Good night (1430) Bad night (2443)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?

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  (804): I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in? http://tfl.nu/kpil
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (1453)
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  (619): View more from California

  The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.

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  (619): The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out. (1-619): Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl. http://tfl.nu/aous
  Replies (10) Good night (3037) Bad night (683)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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  (203): i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes (203): i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally http://tfl.nu/ln5z
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (907)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.

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  (904): Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars. http://tfl.nu/rfvc
  Replies (2) Good night (1920) Bad night (1074)
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  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

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  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1172) Bad night (448)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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  (610): I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend http://tfl.nu/i89p
  Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (723)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Kings cup with teenagers tonight

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Done deal

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  (303): Kings cup with teenagers tonight (1-303): Done deal http://tfl.nu/i22o
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (401)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (995)
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  (650): View more from California

  i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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  (650): i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era http://tfl.nu/hvky
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (398)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am

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  (479): it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am http://tfl.nu/9x4r
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (517)

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