Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.