even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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