Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.