You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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