So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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