he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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