I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
