i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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