We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
