is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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