I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
