apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
