Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
