No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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