Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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