so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
