I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
