Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize