she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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