if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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