You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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