just come out here and I will go home with you...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
