Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
