you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
