My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.