Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great