Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
