help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
