People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
