I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
