i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
