I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
