I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My hand turned me down
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
