He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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