accomplished twins. life is a go
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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