Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
