Don't make out with my wife yet
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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