I'm lost and stupid without you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
