How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
