my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize