I'm gonna have a badass scar
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize