Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You've changed since you got that strap on
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
