Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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