I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
