I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
