At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
