You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
