I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
and you fell through a lawn chair
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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