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Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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