Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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