im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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