i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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