my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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