Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
