She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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